Diaries of a village idiot abroad

Green Bomber militia return – Village Idiot Diaries

Vokal Da Poet’s doppelganger – The Village Idiot – reminisces on life in rural Zimbabwe.

Green Bombers - image from Southern Eye
Green Bombers – image from Southern Eye

Anyone with 5 sense knew about the Murove boys. All of them knew how to fight. Even the youngest one. And they were always ready to fight or looking for someone to fight. It did not happen that a week will be finished without a fight happening at school. Never. And it always happened at the back of the Grade 7 people’s class because it was more far away from the office and the teachers’ houses. So no teacher would quickly know what was happening. And anyway, no one reported to the teachers, because if the Murove boys knew that it was you who had reported the fight, then a grudge was started. And no one wanted to start a grudge with them.

Fighting for mother’s breast

Fight, fight, fight
Fight, fight, fight

Not everytime would it be that someone will fight one of them, but many times it was one of them fighting someone. Sometimes the big boys will just make other people to fight each other. And they did not need a special reason to make you fight.
They will just take you and someone and say:”You, this one is walking around saying that he can beat you. Is it true?” No one wanted someone to walk around saying that. No one. And even if the other one did not say it, there were always witnesses who heard him say it.
After that they will build your mother’s breasts with soil on the ground on the other boy’s side and his mother’s breasts on your side. If you were not afraid, you will destroy his mother’s breasts. No one was afraid to fight for his mother’s breasts.
When it was not at school during the during the weekend or during the holiday, the Murove boys made people fight while herding cattle.

Hungry man is an angry man

Sadza time - image from BBC
Sadza time – image from BBC

They did not have their own cattle, but they were given piece jobs of herding other people’s cattle for maize. When you did not have cattle, and did not have money, it was hard for you to harvest any maize. How would you plough it?
So the Murove family was hungry most of the time because they had to budget their mealie meal. How much sadza will you cook to feed 5 boys? A lot of sadza. But someone who had gone to the Murove boys’ house once when the mother was cooking, said they used a pot of the size that can feed 4 girls. And this pot was supposed to feed 5 boys, 2 girls and the parents.
Now, if you were fighting one of them, it was better to let him beat you. Because if you beat him the others will join in and fight with you. Three against one. The biggest ones waited for you to run home to report to your brother, or father, or uncle. Those boys were not afraid of anyone.
Father always said that:”A hungry man is an angry man. Remember that. These boys are always hungry, so they are always angry.”

Trained in violence

But if we were afraid of them that time, you should have seen people after the biggest two came back from Border Gezi National Youth Service Green Bomber training… Hehehe!
People were now afraid to just look at them, because what will you say if they ask you:”What are you looking at?”

You see, here in South Africa people are saying there is too much unemployment, but they don’t have as many unemployment people as Zimbabwe. But Zimbabwe is finishing unemployment with sending people to Green Bomber training. It doesn’t matter that they cannot pay teachers money for working. They will be able to pay the Green Bombers. Green Bombers are more important than teachers or other civil servants.

The purpose of Green Bombers

Green Bombers make sure that people of the community know the road of the party. They make sure that people go to rallies so that big people are not embarrassed when they come to do a rally and too few people come. They go door to door and make people go to the rally. At elections, Green Bombers make sure people are voting for the right person, putting the X on the right place, and not the puppets of the West who want regime change. And they discipline other young people who support funny parties by beating them up. After election they can go to work for ministers and MPs and other big people for free. Just give them food and a place to sleep and beer.



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