All posts by Lunias Filtered

Jesus shows up in Bulawayo

[Satire] ilizwi263 resident lunatic, Lunias Filtered is hurling abuse at the moon. And rambling about Jesus in Bulawayo… The local press is calling it ‘the most significant event since our independence’, after Jesus Christ revealed himself in the second capital of the Democratic Sovereign Republic

Bulawayo women beat up their husbands

The United Nations Population Fund recently released statistics of physical and sexual abuse by province. Writing from Bulawayo, ‘the place of slaughter,’ ilizwi263’s resident madman, Lunias Filtered gives his analysis Names are fascinating things, aren’t they? You wake up one day and wonder why that

Queues for food outside a supermarket in 2008

A lunatic’s reflection on 2008

2008 messed me up man, it messed up my head worse than a bad weave. I was a bl**dy trillionaire (yes, I was so rich I – along with every tom dick and even Jane- earned a name that’s not in your dictionary) with nothing to buy.

Things were so hectic that I had to strangle my wife and dogs. Yes, yes, the children too. They don’t really matter because they were not yet people anyhow, almost though. The dogs I strangled out of pity. It’s not the life without my leftovers in the form of bones that I chose for them, and you could hear them whimper, yelp in shame, begging me to end their lives whenever they smelt the fart of cabbage.