Tag Archives: economy

5 things 2008 revealed about Zimbabweans

With no running water, only the few with boreholes in their yards in the low density suburbs had readily available options. The masses in the ghetto explored their hidden engineering skills to identify potential spots for clean and safe water without disrupting the councils’ pipes or drainage system.

Without any qualifications in land surveying or modern equipment to help them, my brothers in the ghetto made a living from digging wells to provide everyone with the precious liquid. Most of these wells have stood the test of time, as they still serve their purpose even beyond the crisis period.

Queues for food outside a supermarket in 2008

A lunatic’s reflection on 2008

2008 messed me up man, it messed up my head worse than a bad weave. I was a bl**dy trillionaire (yes, I was so rich I – along with every tom dick and even Jane- earned a name that’s not in your dictionary) with nothing to buy.

Things were so hectic that I had to strangle my wife and dogs. Yes, yes, the children too. They don’t really matter because they were not yet people anyhow, almost though. The dogs I strangled out of pity. It’s not the life without my leftovers in the form of bones that I chose for them, and you could hear them whimper, yelp in shame, begging me to end their lives whenever they smelt the fart of cabbage.

A long time until checkmate

The Zimbabwean situation, with its high unemployment and rampant social decay, has led many people to desperation. Many young folk spend their time numbing their senses with cough syrup (bronco, or ingoma in our local lingo), or any other psychoactive substance they can get their hands on. Many others have resorted to sports betting as a way of making a living. Let’s not even mention the criminals.

These guys, however, are sitting in a bar, none of them imbibing (as far as I can tell), and spending their time sharpening their minds with the ultimate strategy game. The one dollar bet is just an added incentive to the players, ‘so that someone can’t say ‘I wasn’t thinking!’ as Caradine says.

Five things to do when there is no ZESA

We in Zimbabwe have a rare opportunity and like my mama always said: be grateful for everything you have. How many people can run around naked in the middle of the night? Witches have been doing it for years and I assure you, it’s quite an experience. You will feel alive, the cool air permeating the hair of your nether regions, and said nethers swinging, dangling and slapping like Adam chasing Eve for a peach. I usually do my run at 20:25; five minutes before ZESA is scheduled to come back on. The course takes me 15 minutes and no one has ever seen my goods.

Load shedding: Bringing the dark to the continent

The time is gone for Africa to insist she exists in a vacuum. We need to have some standard of reasonableness in our social and political structures, which I think is the reason we keep pretending to have embraced democracy (Nigeria gets a free-pass this time around).

Let’s agree on the basics: health delivery, electricity and education can be a start, then we add WI-FI to that list later.

In darkness we are one

Power shortages have been haunting African countries individually, and collectively, for years now. The whole of the SADC region is struggling to generate electricity for its 277 million people, yet the problem has been evident for years now.

Had our leaders possessed the mind of these two ladies, maybe by now they could have come up with solutions for the benefit of their citizens. Instead, some take advantage of problems to discredit the next leader or to prove that they are economic and strategic thinking experts.

I am not saying there is anything wrong with one trying to prove themselves as innovative leaders. Yes crisis situations are very good opportunities to show how one mastered the art of problem solving. However in some cases we should think beyond getting a pat on the back for being the wise one.

Letter to my teacher

I talk to them, they don’t want to hear it anymore, they don’t want to hear of “childhood fancies”. They want to talk about “real life”.
I ask myself; is it right to give up so young? No it can’t be. We can still dream, our lives are still right in front of us, the best is yet to come.

Harare’s ticking health time bomb

Not so long ago, the city was hard hit by cholera and typhoid, diseases that can easily spread through the ideal conditions at the eating spots. The City Council seems to be turning a blind eye while the council police and ZRP officers fatten their pockets from bribes from the restaurant owners, but it seems people are quick to forget.

The restaurant owners’ excuse is the high licensing fees, high cost of implementing health and environmental standards that restricts them from operating proper businesses.